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| One of the frangipani blossoms from the tree outside our house. |
I’ve had this post written and ready to go for
almost a week now, and I just haven’t had the guts to share it. It sounds like
a list of complaints and weakness to me, but you all have stuck with me through
the good and the bad. And the good has far outweighed the bad, so here it is...
I had a day or two last week that were so hard. I felt heavy,
fragile, sad, raw, mad, heartsick, and yet… so happy and thankful to be here.
Confusing, right? No wonder I cried.
My last post talked about how lovely it is to be
here. And it really is. I still wouldn’t trade being here for anything. This is
my home now. But I was feeling a bit “state-sick” and lost; something I know is
normal once the “honeymoon period” of a new country wears off. I was sensitive
and I let the little things become the big things, skewing my perspective and
hurting my heart.
But then.
I met some of our tribal church planters and
translators. I heard how they really need supply flights into their tribes, so
they don’t have to hike to a place where they fly to a town to get supplies,
only to be told their return flight was canceled and they’d have to find
another way back. A wasted trip. Too much time not working on their
translation. Too much not being with their family. Too much not doing the job
they were called to do.
And that’s why I’m so happy and thankful to be
here.
Because they
are why Josh and I are here in the very heart of Papua New Guinea. To be a
small part of the team that brings the love of Jesus to the unreached. The wonderful hard
days come, but they also go (so long as you don’t set up camp there). The
people are worth those days. Jesus is worth it.
The rest of the team has hard days, too. Maybe
me writing about my heartsick days will help them to know that they are not
alone. Maybe I can encourage them that it’s 100% normal, and okay, and dare I
say it – good to have those days. Just
don’t let those days run your life; remember to zoom out, to look up again, to
fix your eyes on Jesus, and to accept the grace He has even for this.
Labels: home, josh and erin verdonck, missionary aviation, missionary life, new tribes mission, new tribes mission aviation, papua new guinea, thoughts