Language learning
is hard.
At the end of our 5th and 7th weeks in
the class, we took an evaluation (my final one was on Friday). It’s not a test,
as much as it is a tool to see where you are and what you can do to continue
growing.
After my first evaluation, I learned that I had a lot
more growing to do. I did really well for being in this country for less than 3
months, studying language for 5 weeks, and having a nervous breakdown at the
beginning of the evaluation. But I didn’t do as well as some of the others in
the class (one being my tri-lingual husband who has spent more of his lifetime
in this country than his own, hmm…) and I didn’t do as well as I thought I should
have, because I obviously know so much about this language. That horrible pride
appeared and I lost all grace, said mean things to my teachers (whom I actually adore!), and was an all
around Nasty Nelly for a few days.
But sometimes God uses a bad “grade” to show you your
need for His grace; and sometimes that grace needs to come from yourself to
yourself.
Once I realized 1) that it was totally okay to not by the
best in the class, 2) that language learning is really hard, and 3) that no
matter what level I am at no one is going to kick me out of the country,
language became more fun. I spent a lot more time over the next two weeks chatting
with some of the local (Pidgin-speaking) girls, just telling stories about our
homes, our days, our families, and other normal everyday things. Nothing
formal, just conversation over coffee.
At the end of the two weeks, I went to take my final
evaluation with much less anticipation as before. We did the evaluation in less
time than the first one, and with much more laughter. And I scored even higher
than I thought I would have. I gave
myself grace to mess up, to be slower than somebody else, and to not be the
best, quickest, most fluent Pidgin speaker of all time.
Even though it was a wretched thing to go through, I am
so thankful for that initial “bad grade” on my first eval in language class. I feel I have come
out on the other side a nicer and more empathetic person for it.
|
Our E2 class for Fall 2015, hanging out at the Skate Night (Hero Themed).
(L to R) Melanie, Josh, Erin, Friederike, Nina, Brooks. |
To all those bush missionaries out there (or maybe you
know a bush missionary) who is learning a language right now… I get
it. It’s really hard, you feel like an idiot a lot of the time, and
you’re probably competing with yourself and your teammates, even though you don’t really want to. Your
tongue has a hard time with those new words, even though you know you know them, and you can’t always remember
your pronouns. Give yourself some grace to mess up and to be slower to speak
than somebody else.
Labels: culture, home, josh and erin verdonck, language learning, missionary aviation, missionary life, new tribes mission, new tribes mission aviation, ntma, papua new guinea, partnership development