It seems that my
life has been and will continue to be marked by constantly conflicting
emotions.
I knew that
having holidays overseas would be hard; and I knew that the first one would be
the hardest. I also knew that they would be some of the most beautiful if I let
them.
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Our beautiful tree! |
I dove into the
festivities around the center; desperately wanting to jump into the new normal.
The parties, the caroling, the cookies, and the movies. I decorated and played
Christmas music, I looked at the lights, and drank hot chocolate when the
temperatures dropped to a chilly 70. I kept myself busy. We even took a family
break to the coast where we snorkeled and dived in the Bismarck Sea; and it was
so, so good for my heart. I didn’t realize how much we needed a break until we
were there; it was like a healing balm to our tired hearts. No expectations. No
agendas. Nothing but sand, surf, and sun.
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Toes in the Bismarck Sea! |
But even keeping
busy wasn’t enough to keep the homesickness from rising to just beneath the
surface. I wasn’t prepared for Facebook and Instagram. For seeing the people I
love doing the holiday things I love, but can’t do. Visiting the dazzling
decorations at the Disney hotels. Walking through the live nativities. Sitting
through a Christmas ballet. Sipping peppermint mochas from red cups. Wearing
sweaters and boots. Candlelight services, Lo,
How a Rose, and In the Bleak
Midwinter (which is - inexplicably to my husband - one of my favorite Christmas songs), and the beautiful reminder that Christmas is just the beginning
of Easter.
In short, I was
jealous.
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Candlelit carols. |
However, I had a
candlelight service with caroling surrounded by an ever-growing family of dear people
who get it, a rotating door of visitors, and no shortage of love. We even
managed to score a Christmas ham! The creativity and love that went in to every
bit of celebration made this a very special Christmas for me. Sometimes the
best present is a bar of chocolate that hasn’t melted 18 times before getting
to you, or a very practical set of oven-mitts that actually match and are not
dish towels for me to set accidental fire to.
It wasn’t the Christmas
I knew, but it was so beautiful. Jesus came and we celebrate Him regardless of
location, age, number of presents, background, company, or what’s on the menu.
And isn’t that why we came to live and serve in Papua New Guinea? To celebrate
Jesus and tell everyone else about Him?
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A Christmas "tradition" I could get used to. :-) |
2015 has been a year
of beautifully conflicting emotions. I celebrated my golden birthday and hugged
my sweet grandma before she died. I left my family to move across the world and
found family here, too. I learned a new language and forgot which side of the
car to get in on. I experienced such love and generosity. God poured out grace
upon grace upon grace for me: to say goodbye, to travel, to find the sweet in
the bitter, and to live thrive in a constant state of in-between. This
has been a year of surprises and immeasurable goodness. Thank you for standing
with Josh and I, for your prayers, your gifts, your love, and your stories.
So long 2015;
and hello 2016, I can’t wait to see what you have in store!
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I still can't believe that I live here! |
Labels: adventures, celebrations, christmas, home, husband, josh and erin verdonck, missionary aviation, missionary life, new tribes mission, new tribes mission aviation, papua new guinea, travel